Many of you know that my new path in life is that I am a certified nurses assistant (CNA). I love my job. But after this past week, I never really knew how much the job would take certain affects on me. Here is a little story on what I do daily at work.
Many people have been in to see someone at a hospital or a nursing home and see the aids running around. We help people with their basic daily needs whether it is bringing them to the bathroom or helping them brush their teeth. And other ADL’s. What the second most important part of the job to me is getting to know my residents and hearing about their stories of growing up or what they did when they were my age. Most stories are pretty amazing. Many of the men where in the wars anywhere between WWII, Vietnam. And most of the women were all nurses, or didn’t work and stayed home and took care of the kids. Getting to know my residents puts a smile on your face when you can laugh and bring a smile to their face. One of the other great parts of my job is that not only do you get to know your residents, but you also get to know their family too.
This past week at work one gentleman was sent to the hospital unexpectedly and was coming back for hospice care. This was a shock for my coworkers and I. He was fine just the other day. Now Ive been at my job for 6 months now which is hard to believe already. This gentleman was a family friend of my grandparents and his son does business with my dad and uncle. Getting to know this gentleman was important to me when he first came to the nursing home I work at. Getting to know this gentleman was wonderful, after I told him who I was he remembered me. This man would tell me a few things about my grandparents stories that I hadn’t heard from my own family. The best part of all is that I was told by him and by many others the same thing, My grandfather had the best smile. And this man told me I had a smile just like him. And getting to know his kids was great.
Saturday when he returned from the hospital, I was there to help with the assistance to help transfer him into the bed. This was the first time that I have felt an emotional touch to my job. Other people have passed but I hadn’t had time to get to know them that much and it didn’t really affect me. While I was in the room with my coworker and the family I could feel my eyes getting watery and my nose sniffeling. I was sad. After the transfer was complete my coworker left the room and I just stood there for a moment. I looked at his daughter and I hugged her and as she cried I couldn’t help but let the tears go myself. The family thanked me for everything that I did for them and for him, and told me that I was his favorite. Which made me tear up again. I had to get out of the room and recollect myself and get ready to start my shift. Monday the Lord called him home.
This is the hardest part about my job. The part I don’t understand is why do the employers at my job tell us not to get attached? I mean, how can you not get attached to the people that you care for and help them with everything. Hold their hands or visit with them when they don’t get visitors. I believe they tell us not to get attached because they are there for life until the end. And we need to understand that the people are going to pass away. But I look at it this way, if we didn’t become attached and just said Im here to do my job and get paid then we would look like jerks. But if we say Im here to do my job and to enjoy my time with my residents while doing my job that would look like care and also caring too much and becoming attached? But they want us to give the best care. It is rather confusing. Just like they say don’t pick favorites, but you secretly do. This job is hard on the body, the mind, and most importantly the heart. And after this past week I have officially decided that I am going to go back to school and go for my RN. I don’t want to be in this type of position for the rest of my life. I care about my residents and now to see anyone pass will be a different experience than a few months ago. Getting my RN will bring bigger and brighter things and to chose a field in the Hospital where I know most of my patients will be able to go home 🙂
Elizabeth 10.12.14<3 