“You’re adorable as hell but Im glancing at your wrists” Mayday Parade: When You See My Friends

When you see my friends by Mayday Parade is a really deep song. The very first verse gets to me every single time.

I’m burned out like a bright light
I wasn’t ready for this
you’re adorable as hell, but I’m glancing at your wrist
oh please have faith I can be so cavalier
and when they start to ask questions I’ll make sure to be clear

This is a clear example of this girl is just coming out of a depression and has a history of self harm. The person who says isn’t ready is….kind of was not expecting this out of the girl. But he wants to be supportive of her and when people start noticing or asking questions he will be there to back her up.

When you deal with someone who has depression or you were/are dealing with depression you know how hard it is to keep on going. I have been that girl that thought she wasn’t ready for new relationships or know that people are staring at my scars. I went through a depression and like the character in the song I went through a self harm phase too. I was scared to talk to people especially boys. I was scared to open up and even to start dating because my last relationship is what messed me up. I met someone who found the best in me and didn’t acknowledge my flaws. He saw my scars and is sill standing by my side. He stands up for me and is the best. When the time is right to tell my parents about my depression history he will be there to help me be clear when my parents ask me why.

And give it up for the long nights and all those terrible fights
were you honest with yourself, every version of yourself?
did you get lost on the side of the road?
if you keep acting this way I swear I’ll never come home

Going through depression and self harm you go through a lot of struggles.You fight with yourself constantly. You say oh just one cut….but then it turns into 10 then 20. You argue with yourself telling yourself you deserved it but then you say why did I do that? I was lost I was scared my only friend at the time abandoned me instead of being there for me. My parents thought I was fine because I acted like I was fine. But I was lying to them but more importantly I was lying to myself. I wasn’t being honest with anybody. But it was because I didn’t want anybody to know what I was doing to myself. I didn’t want to get thrown into a crazy house or be on depressant drugs. There were times where I just thought about not coming home or running away from home thinking it would solve all of my problems. But as I got thinking, by doing that it would just make everything worse. So I held on longer and using music as my help. Yeah I still have my days where Im just stuck under a cloud. Yes I have days when I just want to cut but I don’t. Today I am a stronger person that wants to share my story to help and inspire other people who are or have gone through this same struggle.